A vision for a better
personal future
Every year, billions of dollars flow into NGOs with names like "The Global Alliance for Children's Futures and Sustainable Development" — organisations with seventeen vice-presidents, a rebrand every three years, and a suspiciously nice office in Geneva. A staggering 94% of donations fund PowerPoint decks about funding. We are different. There are no overheads here. No strategic roadmaps. No stakeholder alignment workshops. Just a man, his dealer, and a rotating cast of professionals who have chosen, freely and entrepreneurially, to support his wellbeing. Your money goes where it matters: directly into the whores-and-cocaine economy — one of the last sectors still posting genuine double-digit growth.
Full Transparency
Every dollar donated bypasses the usual apparatus of good intentions — no governance committee, no impact framework, no annual gala where everyone pretends the shrimp cocktail justifies the ticket price. Funds are allocated in real time, by feel, usually around 1am, with the kind of decisive leadership most NGOs spend three retreats trying to cultivate.
Measurable Impact
Unlike peer organisations, which measure impact through "lives transformed" and "communities empowered" — metrics that are, frankly, impossible to verify over brunch — our outcomes are rigorous and immediate. KPIs include: volume of events that require a non-disclosure agreement to recount, rate of mornings where the hotel is unrecognisable, and the quarterly index of phone contacts saved under first-name-only.
Community-Driven
Every donor joins a quiet fellowship of discerning individuals who looked at the full landscape of charitable giving — the orphans, the glaciers, the endangered amphibians — and thought: not today. They are professionals, mostly. They have diversified portfolios and strong opinions about whisky. They do not talk about the donation at dinner parties, but they think about it, warmly, when the week gets long.
Global Reach
Operations span five continents, no fewer than thirty-something cities (the exact number remains disputed), and a number of territories whose legal frameworks reward a certain creative interpretation of personal conduct. Where other foundations open field offices and hire local coordinators, we simply arrive — by private transfer, occasionally by ferry, once memorably by moped — and inject capital directly into the local hospitality ecosystem. Foreign aid, effectively, but with a better playlist.
Why not the
other causes?
The rainforest has been in trouble for forty years and somehow persists. The children have entire governments arguing over them. The whales have a dedicated following of people with strong opinions about sonar. These causes are, frankly, covered. Nobody, however, is sponsoring this. The gap in the market is staggering.
We are NOT funding
- Saving the rainforest
- Clean water initiatives
- Feeding the hungry
- Literacy programs
- Sustainable energy
- Anything with a polar bear
- Medical research
We ARE funding
- Whores (quality, not quantity)
- Cocaine (obviously)
- Château Pétrus at establishments with no sign
- Pre-dawn repatriation by private transfer
- Sunglasses for the shame walk
- Brunch to recap everything
- Sustained reinvestment into Q3 field operations
Choose your tier
of generosity
Every level makes a difference. Specifically, a difference to me.
- Covers approximately 15% of a cocktail
- Statistically irrelevant
- Spiritually, we're touched
- Handles the coat check at venues with a door policy
- More than nothing, less than relevant
- The thought is noted, if not transformative
- Funds a modest but meaningful quantity of the programme's core supply
- The amount a person donates when they know they should do more but won't
- You'll sleep fine. We won't, but for different reasons.
- Covers the corkage on a bottle we'd already decided to open
- Rounds down a tab that was already embarrassing
- The kind of person who tips well and doesn't mention it
- Now we're in the right postcode
- Still won't cover an evening, but we appreciate the ambition
- Somewhere, a philanthropist is building a hospital. You chose this instead.
- Begins to reflect the actual cost of the programme
- You have materially improved the situation. The situation is grateful.
- We don't know what you do for a living, but we support it unconditionally
What our donors say
"I've donated to opera houses, endowments, and a foundation that restores wetlands. None of them made me feel like this. This is the only cause I've given to where I am absolutely certain the money is being put to good use." T.W.Private Equity
"I have backed forty-three startups. Most had a deck, a roadmap, and a go-to-market strategy. Not one of them deployed capital with this level of speed, certainty, and zero governance. In its own way, it is the most efficient investment I have ever made." M.D.Venture Capitalist
"I have donated to seventeen charities in the past decade. Twelve sent me a tote bag. Three sent a handwritten letter that felt machine-printed. One sent a calendar. This one sent nothing, asked for nothing, and explained itself to no one. That alone puts it comfortably in the top three." S.K.Architect
Frequently Asked
Absolutely not. You are donating money for cocaine and prostitutes. Please do not talk to your accountant about this.
Into the economy. Specifically, the informal, cash-based, hospitality-adjacent sector of the economy. It's actually quite stimulating.
No. There will be no newsletter, no impact report, no annual letter from the founder reflecting on growth. You will hear nothing. But somewhere, quietly, in the moments between meetings and mortgage payments, you will feel it — a warmth, a rightness, the deep cellular knowledge that your money went somewhere real. That is your update. That is all the update anyone ever needed.
Donating money to a person is entirely legal. What constitutes "legal" further down the supply chain is a question we've chosen not to pursue.
You already clicked on a page called "Whores and Cocaine." We both know you're not here for moral guidance.
We accept Bitcoin, Ethereum, Tether, XRP, BNB, Solana, USDC, Dogecoin, Cardano, TRON, Avalanche, and Monero. We are, in this sense, more inclusive than most NGOs.
No minimum. We do, however, have feelings.
You can't save the world.
You can, however, save my evening.
Because nothing says I believe in this cause like sending digital currency to a stranger on the internet. Choose an amount. Your bank does not need to know about this.